Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
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I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
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They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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