I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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