Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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