i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
