just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
