i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
