So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
