i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
