from now on my penis is your penis
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My pussy is not your playground.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
