Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
