Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize