Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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