Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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