Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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