I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
