you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
