i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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