Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize