i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
