well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
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Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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