Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
