we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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