Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
