he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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