God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
