Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize