Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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