That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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