I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
