If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
