Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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