i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She told me I should be a condom model.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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