I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
