he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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