Screwed.edu
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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