I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
