I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
