Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
