Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
