Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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