Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
