Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
