stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
