I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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