you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
