In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
