i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
