You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
