I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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