Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
