no. you can't hotbox the world.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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