So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
