Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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