Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
