Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
